Stone Cold Stunning Let's Hit Dachs With A Lead Pipe Dammit Why Is The Door Locked Picks Of The Week The Week The Week!!!!!

Ah, a long, rambling title filled with inside jokes. Is there anything better?

Anyway, here are the 1:00 lines that are so good you don't even need to think about teasing. We'll make believe the blog has a bankroll of 1,000 Schrutebucks.

49ers vs Saints, over 48.5- 2 high-powered offenses, 2 not very good defenses, shootout city, we'll bet 200 Schrutebucks on that one (to win 181.82).

Carolina -7 at home against Atlanta. 100 Schrutebucks (to wn 95.24), Atlanta is 2-1, but both games came at home against terrible teams. On the road against a good team? Eh-eh, it ain't gonna happen. Jonathan Stewart with a big day as the Panthers roll.

Titans -3 at home against the Vikings. As I said before the season (not here, but I did make a point of being mad pumped I got them off waivers preseason in the Yahoo league), the Titans defense is awesome. The Vikings offense, not so much. Peterson may find a way to get 80 and a TD, but Frerotte to Berrian has no chance today, Cortland Finnegan will shut them down, and Kerry Collins will do enough to cover that spread. 100 Schrutebucks (to win 80).

Tampa Bay as a pick 'em at home against Green Bay. Antonio Bryant with a huge game, Earnest Graham with a good bounce back game, Bucs roll at home by at least 10. 100 Schrutebucks (to win 90.91).

Bet those straight up, throw em in a parlay, whatever, go crazy and make some money with them.

As for the crazy 5 team tease, how about Denver to -4, Browns/Bengals O/U to 39, Jags to -1, Titans to +3, and GB/TB O/U to 37. 100 Schrutebucks (to win 450).

And even if all those lose, we'll still have 400 Schrutebucks for the 4:00 game. How awesome is that?

In other news, crazy couple days in college football, shaping up to be an awesome day of baseball today, I still have hardcore bird flu, Moose going for 20, and a huge game for the 'Boys. A crazy day ahead of us all, enjoy.