Monday, March 31, 2008

The most retarded Opening Day ever

It stopped raining, so they canceled the game. What. The. Hell. Take my word for it, I was more pissed at the time, now I just have a headache, at least the Yankees are still undefeated-0 when I'm in attendance on Opening Day. We'll get it tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Well that's 1 prediction down

Thanks to the crappy relief work of Huston Street, the behated Boston Red Sox won a game (costing my boy Joe Blanton a much-needed win in the process), making one of my predictions wrong, a mere four hours into the season. Well then. At least the Knicks might actually be getting rid of Isiah.

Monday, March 24, 2008

20 Baseball Predictions

The first regular-season game is less than 5 hours away, and since I'm shockingly too lazy to go all-out with a preview, I'll take the easy way out and make 20 predictions:

1. First things first, the drought comes to an end, the Yankees win the World Series.

2. Your NL representative: The Braves.

3. MVPs: AL-Have you seen the name of the blog? NL- Big Teixy

4. Cy Youngs: AL- Bedard, NL- Huddy, in my upset pick of the week.

5. AL Division winners: Yanks, Tigers, Angels

6. NL Division winners: Braves, Cubs, D-Backs

7. Wild-cards: Indians/Brewers

8. ALCS: Yanks over Tigers, NLCS: Braves over D-Backs

9. As I mentioned in an earlier video, the Mets will go 75-87.

10. The Red Sox will amazingly fail to win a single game this season.

11. The Mariners should sign Barry Bonds, but they won't. They will however pull off a trade deadline deal for Griffey but will still fall short.

12. Eric Karabell will continue to be much better than Matthew Berry.

13. 50-HR hitters: A-Rod, The Prince, Big Teix, Adam Dunn

14. McGwire will once again not even come close to getting inducted into the HOF.

15. September 21 will not be the date of the Yankees' last home game at Yankee Stadium (well, duh, look at #1).

16. I will win both of my fantasy leagues.

17. Eric Byrnes and Jose Reyes will combine for less than 100 steals.

18. Joba will continue to a beast, easily take down the AL ROY, while in the NL, who cares?

19. None of the major single-season records will be broken, although a certain someone will give DiMaggio's streak a run for its money.

20. The Captain will hit .400.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

On a serious note

One of these days I'll make this blog fun again with posts about sports and random stupidity that amuses me, but for now, another serious post.

Urgent Tehillim Request
Please be mispallel for Rav Alter Chanoch Henach ben Chaya Rivka Leah,
our Rosh haYeshiva, Rav A. Henach Leibowitz Shlita, Rosh HaYeshiva,
Yeshivas Chofetz Chaim in Queens, NY, who is in critical condition
and in need of our tefilos.

May we merit to hear b'suros tovos.

(Hey, I might be a YU bum now, but just the like nWo, when you're Chofetz Chaim, you're Chofetz Chaim, for, life.)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Some random baseball predictions

2 weeks until regular-season baseball, and less than 3 until the final Opening Day in the Bayis. There is a lot of crap going on today. Spitzer resigned, Shelley Duncan continued to be fantastic, Belfer's on fire, but I'm once again too lazy to actually blog about that stuff now. Maybe later. For now, I'll just be making my first official prediction for the 2008 baseball season.

The Mets will go 75-87. That is all.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

On a serious note

Ordinarily we try to keep this blog fun and enjoyable and full of good times. But there has been horrible news today.

"Eight people were reported to be killed and approximately 35 wounded in a terror attack at a seminary located near the entrance to Jerusalem on Thursday evening.

Rescue workers evacuate wounded from the scene of Thursday's terror attack in Merkaz Harav Yeshiva in Jerusalem.
Photo: Channel 10

The exact number of people killed was yet to be confirmed, but Magen David Adom have confirmed 10 wounded civilians including three seriously. One terrorist was said to be dead.

Witnesses said that only one terrorist had entered the building and that he managed to fire 500-600 bullets over the course of 10 minutes before he was killed.

Although witnesses claimed only a single terrorist carried out the attack, police were searching the building for an additional terrorist, preventing the entrance of rescue workers.

The incident occurred when at least one terrorist entered the Merkaz Harav Yeshiva in the neighborhood of Kiryat Moshe carrying weapons. The terrorist was not wearing a suicide-bomb belt as earlier reported.

The gunman entered a dining hall where about 80 people were gathered, witnesses said, and opened fire. "There are at least seven killed and 10 people wounded," said Eli Dein, director of Israel's rescue service.

Approximately 50 ambulances were sent to the scene and a 16-year-old boy in serious condition and suffering from chest wounds was seen being evacuated from the scene.

Jerusalem Mayor Uri Lupolianski told Channel 2, "It's very sad tonight in Jerusalem - many people were killed in the heart of Jerusalem."

In Gaza City, residents went out into the streets and fired rifles in celebration in the air after hearing news of the attack on the seminary.

No terror group has claimed responsibility for the attack."

Fucking scumbag Arab terrorist lunatics. I see on Drudge now that Hamas is calling the attacks heroic. I hope they all get a horrible case of ass cancer and die. Hopefully the retaliation will be swift and effective, although in the event that we take out 5 terrorists and 1 "innocent civilian" the media will be all over us for such a horrible crime against humanity.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Favre Retires

Assuming nothing bigger happens in the next 13 hours, the big news of the day is that Brett Favre is actually retiring. Supposedly he would've come back if the Packers got Randy Moss, that didn't happen, he's gone.

Much like Kige, I am surprised. Unlike Kige I'm actually gonna give a reason why. His last pass was a horrible interception to cost his team a spot in the Super Bowl. While not everyone can go out on top, like Elway or Jordan the 1st 2 times around, no athlete wants the last thing they did to be that terrible.

Of course it's a play like that that makes me say Favre is the most overrated great player in sports history. Dude won 3 MVPs, and from '95 to '97 was one of the greatest QBs ever, but since then? He's had overrated sack of crap written all over him. This is a guy who cost his team in big games against inferior competition (like the Giants this year, the Eagles, Falcons and 49ers in the past few years) time and time again with stupid gunslinger interceptions.

Anybody who says Favre was better than Aikman is a jackass.

Peter King and John Madden will be crying themselves to sleep for the next few days.

In other news, the parlay went down again yesterday, as did the straight-up pick. The blog is down 5 Schrutebucks, which means only one thing. Time to go a little insane with today's lines. The lines aren't up yet, but I'll be back later with the picks. Awesome.

UPDATE: And we're back. Alright, let's go crazy. Straight-up Schrutebucks: Marlins, Twins, Cardinals, Pirates. Parlay the Yankees and Braves, but this time do so with a Schrutebuck and 5 Stanley Nickels.

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: The blog hit a parlay! Yeah, baby. Unfortunately, 0-3 with 1 no action on the straight-ups, so we lost another 4 Stanley Nickels. Today, 2 Schrutebucks and a Stanley Nickel on the Yankees, with 1 Schrutebuck on the Dodgers, Astros, Braves, and Reds. No parlays today, I have a headache.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Parlay baby parlay

No real thoughts now, it is Sunday morning after all, but we do need to win our spring training parlay money back since the blog is down 2 Schrutebucks.

So today, the undefeated Yankees together with the Dodgers and the Pirates.

MONDAY UPDATES: 1. It was pointed out to me I left out Heroes in my list of solid NBC shows. I then remembered I left out My Name is Earl, which is a good show, but makes for a terrible day-by-day calender. My bad, but Vegas should still go on.

2. While I'm here, the Monday parlay (Blog is -3 Schrutebucks): Yankees/Tigers/Dodgers, and while we're at it, screw parlays, I'm gonna go public with one of my straight-up picks, put a Schrutebuck on the Braves.