Thursday, June 26, 2008

Merry Christmas!

On this day 34 years ago, Jeter Christ, Our Lord and Savior, was born. I'll be out celebrating in style all day, singing carols and bringing good tidings. Here's one carol I like to sing on this day:

(To the tune of Silent Night)

Je-eter Christ, Je-eter Christ, is so awesome, and so great.
Made The Flip, Made The Dive,
He is the best of all-time.

Je-eter Christ, Je-eter Christ, without him, the Yankees would suck.
Gonna get 5,000 hits,
He is the best of all-time.

In big news for the blog, let me pull a Kige and tell you what to expect here in the future. Alright YouTube viewers, in the mornings, assuming I'm awake and am home, I will be starting the Morning Strum segment. This is where I will recap the major events of last night's action. Then, later in the day, there will be the ESPN Classic segment. This will be where I list what my programming would be for that channel on that day. Billiards and auto shows probably won't be involved. Of course, there will be occasional regular posts, where I will give my take on random crap. I hope you have enjoyed this preview, and as always, I look forward to reading your comments in the comment section below this video (yes, I'm pointing).

And finally, trivia shout-out to Taz. I'd link to his blog, but the Deep Thoughts of the Bat-Taz are no longer.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Details to Follow

No time for a real blog, but some quick things going on that will be delved into soon.

1. The Yankees have won the last 2 games by a combined score of 20-0. The swagger is back, bring it on Peavy.

2. We have just signed Sidney Ponson to a minor-league deal. No report on if we've also brought back Scott Erickson and Terrence Long.

3. This week's SI players poll shows that 10% of those polled feel the Captain is the most overrated player in baseball. This outrage will be blogged about, believe me, his honor will be defended.

4. Massive congratulations to my boy KG. I may hate Boston but I love KG and I was rooting for them to win this series. Congratulations also to Kige and Rosie. Let's go Celts indeed.

More to come soon enough. Let's go Yanks.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Mets Frown Upon Winning Streaks

The Mets have won 2 in a row, and 3 out of 4. Naturally it's time to fire the pitching coach, first-base coach (seriously, terrible job this season by the first-base coach) and the manager. While Willie Randolph may be a traitor for leaving after 2004 for the retards in Queens (Hi HannahJ!), this move makes very little sense. As has been pointed out on various platforms, Jerry Manuel and Randolph are very similar, so what's the point? If they went with my boy HoJo, then fine, but this is just odd.

What the Mets should do, but probably won't, is bring back either of the managers who actually had success with those losers: Davey Johnson or Bobby Valentine. This assumes they want the job, but come on, to be able to work a mere few miles away from the Captain? Obviously it would be better to be a parking attendant in the South Bronx but it's better than managing in Japan.

In other news: JCHOFer Tiger Woods was awesome the past 3 days, with 3 sick eagles Shabbos, and 2 ridiculously Captainesquely clutch birdies on 18 each of the last 2 days, before finally finishing off Rocco Mediate on the 91st hole. He is now 14 for 14 when leading a major after 3 rounds. Pretty good, pretty pretty good.

The tragic news is of course the news that the Wanger will be out until September. This sucks. Can we make due with a rotation of Pettitte, Joba, Moose, Rasner and Giese/minor league callup? Of course, we still have the Captain.

But who would that callup be? It simply can't be Igawa, who is as lost a cause as there has ever been. Daniel McCutchen has been very good this year and Alan Horne was fantastic last year, but I think it'll be Jeff Karstens, who is healthy again and conveniently is on line to start in Wang's spot on normal rest. Kennedy will probably be back by the end of the month, just like your mom's period, but Phillip the prolific blogger can't realistically be counted on in the immediate short-term.

There is another option. If Cleveland continues to suck, maybe Sabathia becomes available, but I (as well as Cashman, who actually makes these decisions) didn't want to give up anything too substantial for Santana, who is better than Sabathia, so I don't see this happening, unless Cleveland is willing to settle for something along the lines of Kennedy/Horne/Marquez.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Epitome of Frustration

I have spent the last 2 1/2 hours trying to get my password for the All-Star Game presale. I have e-mailed the powers that be for help. 2 hours later? Still no response. I have repeatedly called them. "All circuits are busy". Lazy douchebags, pick up the damn phone already. Who do you think you are, 911?

It's the same problem every single time with these retards, be it regular season tickets, playoff tickets, or All-Star tickets. They have too many people trying to access one little website, and the retarded thing crashes and/or makes you wait on a virtual line with no end in sight. Not good times. I really want to go to this game and have very little interest in shelling out extra to a scalper when I'M A FREAKING TICKET LICENSEE.* Not good times. At all. But I have no intention of giving up just yet. Instead of hanging out with some buddies (sorry guys, should've clicked the ad dammit) I will stare at this computer screen while watching freaking golf, until I get my damn tickets.


Although we'd probably go see Zohan, so am I really missing out that much? Either way, not good times at all.

In other news, freaking Wang. Learn how to run the damn bases. MRI results to come, although as of now it's been called a sprain of the top of his foot. What the hell that even means I can't begin to imagine, it just sounds so stupid.

The good news? We swept the beJeter out of Houston, with the Great One himself providing the crucial blow in 2 of the games. Now if only I can go be there when he wins his 2nd ASG MVP.

UPDATE: FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!! They appear to have sold out. I already got tickets for the Sunday crap and I'm going to the fan fest at least 1 day, probably 2. But still, I want ASG tickets, dammit, is that so wrong? Literally 5 minutes after I blogged about this, I finally got through and got my password, but since it was 2 hours and 45 minutes after the pre-sale started, not surprisingly they sold out. Even the workout day sold out. Motherfuck, tittyfuck, everywhere a fuck fuck. I am not happy right now.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Legend Grows

About twenty minutes ago, your Captain and mine, the one, the only, the man, the myth as well as the legend, the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever shall be, gave the Yankees a 1-0 lead with a sharp single to right-center. As you can see on the side of the blog, he has now passed Mickey Mantle on the Yankees all-time hit list.

Think of all the Yankee legends, who really are also baseball legends, some of whom are also genuine sports legends and American heroes. Derek Jeter has more hits as a Yankee (the only hits that matter) than Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Reggie Jackson, Don Mattingly, Bernie Williams, Paul O'Neill, Randy Velarde, Alex Rodriguez, and the list goes on and on. Thousands down, 2 to go. Couple of guys you may have heard of, Gehrig and Ruth. The countdown continues.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Quincy's Illustrious Return

When one thinks about the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history, the top 5 are easy to come up with: 1. Aikman 2. Romo 3. Quincy Carter 4. Staubach 5. Don Meredith (Irrational Cowboy fan? What insane irrational Cowboy fan?)

In 2003, Quincy Carter finally got his chance to start for the whole season as Bill Parcells, unlike Dave Campo, realized Chad Hutchinson was flat-out terrible. He took a team that had gone 5-11 3 years in a row, to 10-6 and the franchise's first playoff berth in 5 years.

That offseason, we in effect traded then-mediocre Joey Galloway for Keyshawn Johnson, drafted Julius Jones to replace the non-Hebrew Hammer Troy Hambrick (let the record show, the day after that draft I wanted to know why we traded out of the 1st round to take him instead of Steven Jackson or Kevin Jones, considering that extra draft pick we got ended up becoming Marcus Spears, this was clearly not the best of decisions, although Double J did have his great moments after coming back from injury that first season), and Jason Witten was elevated to starter. We had made the playoffs with solid defense and special teams, and a mediocre offense. Now we had an offense.

Then tragedy struck.

Quincy Carter, our fearless leader, had always had a little bit of a "dope thing". That training camp, he failed a drug test. Suddenly, our big pickup of a washed up Eddie George was no longer big news, because shortly thereafter our starting quarterback was no longer on the team. I'm still convinced Parcells fudged the test so he could bring in Vinny Testaverde. Without Quincy we went 6-10, and were never again close to the same (until, of course, ROMO!).

But now he's back in the game. After leaving the Jets, he went to af2, but then got tired of that so he left them too. Now however, the Kansas City Brigade (no more af2, he's back to the big time now), in dire need of a leader to salvage their playoff hopes, are turning to the great Quincy Carter. They're 3-10, but somehow still have a shot since their conference apparently sucks. How 'Bout Them Brigade.

HT: This guy, who told me about his signing, although this post was about him becoming the starter today, something he said nothing about. Anyway, all of my loyal readers, throw some hits his way in recognition of his performance.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Screw Shootouts

If you know what I'm talking about, beautiful. Otherwise, go away. Sick game.

In other news, vacation's over. The blog returns (again) tomorrow. Joba better throw a freaking perfect game after the bullpen fiascoes we've been dealing with.