Sunday, October 28, 2007

Goodbye Purple-Lips

As you all know there was some huge baseball news tonight. Alex Rodriguez, who from here on will once again be referred to as Gay-Rod and/or Ass-Rod, decided to opt out of his ridiculously massive contract.

What a dumbass.

We were going to give you an extension. Is a 5 year, 140 million dollar extension really not good enough? All you had to do was win a ring, or another MVP or 2, and you'd have millions of fans for life, probably get your number retired, and best of all, your very own Yankeeography, besides for an insane amount of money. Instead, you opt out. Brian Cashman already made it quite clear that if you opted out we weren't going to get into a bidding war for you. You really think you're gonna get more money without us involved?

And then the reason your agent gives for your decision. You didn't want to make any decisions until you knew what we were doing about Mo, Posada, and Pettitte. Um, Gay-Rod, opting out is a decision. Pretty big one at that considering it means your potentially illustrious Yankee tenure is done.

Whatever dude, you could've had everyone hate you except for us, the biggest, most rabid fanbase on the planet. Now, we hate you too. Bite me Gay-Rod.

As for the future 3B of the Yankees. I'd give up Ian Kennedy/Alan Horne for Miguel Cabrera but the Marlins will probably only take Hughes or Joba who are absolutely untouchable. Mike Lowell's a free agent, wouldn't mind him. JB Smoove's really funny, don't know if he can play third though. We do have Betemit, and Giambi did start his career as a third baseman (joke, although it would be really funny to see him try to play third at this stage), but as long as we've got the Captain, it's all good.

Good stuff from Buster Olney on this too.

(This of course assumes we don't cave in and go after A-Rod, which would go against everything we've been saying all season and would really piss me off.)

Oh, and do me a favor, click on the ad on top of each new post, because I think I get money and stuff if you do. (Cue the Beavis and Butthead sound effects right here.)

What the shuffle decided I should listen to: Had it off, but my roommate's fan was a decent soundtrack.

Congratulations Boston, we'll get you next year.

1 comment:

Rare Find said...

Dachs: read this article, you're gonna LOVE it. The first paragraph says it all.