Why are you still here?

All the cool kids left, they're at the new place now.

Dachssnewblog.blogspot.com

See you soon.

The Picks

Wait a sec, Tim Calhoun's on, and he's a football cousin and a Donkey Kong best friend.

Anyway, the blog has 965 Schrutebucks and 17 Stanley Nickels. With that in mind, 100 on each of these:

Tennessee -9 at KC: Tennessee is really good, KC is really bad.

Pittsburgh -10 at CIN: Pittsburgh is really good, CIN is really bad.

Houston -9.5 vs DET: Houston is really good (the best 1-4 team in the world), DET is really bad.

Notice a trend there?

Also, over 35 in the PIT-CIN game, and under 47 in the DET-HOU game.

And in the upset portion, Oakland +155 to win straight out vs the Jets as McFadden romps, same with Cleveland +265 at Washington.

And put the surplus 65 SBucks and the SNickels on TB-11 vs SEA, because Tampa is really good (at football, not baseball), and SEA is really bad.

That leaves us with 200 Schrutebucks for a special occasion. Parlay and tease as you wish, but I got to keep my fun wagers secret or they'll lose, simple as that. Yeah, that's why they'd lose.

RELAPSE!

Eminem's back boys and girls. First the new book The Way I Am, and then most importantly, the new CD coming out in the next couple of months. Yeah. Baby.

In other music news, there's this new video out which in my view is one of the greatest of all time. Possibly top-5, definitely top-10. If you haven't seen it yet, you suck as a human being. If you have, well, watch it again.

The whole embedding/uploading thing is being retarded, so just go here.

Stay tuned for the mid-SNL football picks. Although I always do better when I don't post my picks, quite the conundrum, but I'll risk it for you guys.

Some thoughts for the offseason

Here's what I'm thinking, as of now. Goodbye Giambi, goodbye Pavano, goodbye Abreu. We sign Teixeira (at any price), Manny (blasphemy I know, but he'll f'ing destroy Boston every time which will be worth the 100 million it'll cost), Orlando Hudson, Sabathia, and Oliver Perez. Priorities in that order.

We attempt to make 2 big trades. San Diego's shopping Peavy, I don't love him as much as most (hey there Donny), but still, it's Peavy, he's 27 and locked in until 2013. According to the ESPN.com article I saw, they're looking for a near-ML ready CF and 2 pitching prospects. Well, how does Melky/Kennedy/Marquez sound?

Next, Seattle. They became the 1st team to lose 100 with a payroll of 100 million and are rumored to be looking to shed payroll. Rumor has it the whole team hates Ichiro. Well, how does Cano/Matsui for Ichiro/the injured Bedard sound?

And in a minor trade we take 2 relievers making no money, let's say Edwar and Bruney, and package them for Huston Street, whose contract Oakland's trying to get rid of.

Our new-look lineup:
CF Ichiro
SS Captain
1B Teix
DH Manny
3B A-Rod
C Posada
LF Damon
RF Nady
2B Hudson

Our new-look rotation:
Best-case: Sabathia, Peavy, Wang, Moose, Pettitte

Moose may retire, we may not get Sabathia and/or Peavy, which is where Oliver Perez would come in. Hughes spends the beginning of the year in AAA, and is the 1st guy up after an injury.

Bullpen: Mo closing, Joba in the 8th, Street/Coke/Melancon as other setup guys, Marte as the LOOGY, Giese as the long man.

Bench: Molina/Gardner/Betemit/Shelley or Christian.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too painful to even look for a link, but the top story on Sportscenter. Damn.

I'm gonna go under the covers and cry.

Yeah...

So a quick note about yesterday's football action.

Let's go Rangers

Derek Jeter is Awesome

No real topics to blog about, but hey, I'm in the mood to blog. I guess we could talk about the fact that the Cowboys sucked again yesterday and we may only be a few bad passes away from Owens choking out Romo. We could talk about how the Rangers are undefeated and all alone in first place. We could talk about the baseball playoffs, and how awesome it is that the Mets choked. Again.

But instead, focus on this thought. Derek Jeter is the man. That is all.